r m s

2011

2011-11-29T22:23:00.001+08:00

more than a year since my last post.
its nice to see its still alive.
2011 is almost coming to an end.

time to make resolutions that nobody ever does keep until february.
lets see if i can start blogging regularly.

2010-07-16T17:22:00.002+08:00

sipping on sweet caffeinated poison while waiting,
trying to kill time as i have exactly an hour to go,

i want to soak up the sun, put on my spikes and track all the way..
without a care in the world..

cant wait to makannn

2010-07-03T22:39:00.000+08:00

wish there was more to this..
even life itself doesnt compare

2010-05-31T22:37:00.001+08:00

can i please go back to blue waters :)

2010-05-13T22:07:00.000+08:00

day 1

my knees, arms are in painnn

i miss my ipod :(

2010-04-24T16:41:00.000+08:00

rainy days and a cuppa

nothings makes it better than that

2010-04-08T22:13:00.001+08:00

do you ever have an idea where you stand in someone's life? sometimes you feel like racking your brain and wish just for a second that you could see what others think or feel about you. for a brief moment, you'll know what they experience when you first see their smile, hear their laughter, and most of all, that lingering look wherethe its what the fuck or swooooon.

i just want to know if im worth it..

2010-03-22T21:09:00.003+08:00

feels tired almost being stuck in a same space for almost 12 hours.
satisfactory yes, mentally exhausted though.

i need a breather.. a long one

2010-03-14T01:58:00.001+08:00

and if somehow everything comes crashing down,
who would you run to?

2010-02-24T19:59:00.000+08:00

can i please for once get what i want?

2010-02-15T21:01:00.002+08:00

another bomb spent on something that seems only to be on paper, no regrets though buts its funny when youre spending what you work so hard for and its just a piece of paper proving that you're worth it. sometimes life experience and streetwise isnt enough. i guess human credibility just isnt good enough.

yesterday was when it hit me, after an hour of torture hitting sheets, keys, notes, quaver, gdgdbcbcdb.. that i feel inadequate. that i might not just be strong enough. that i might just fail. that im not a good person. that i might crash and burn and have no tomorrow anymore. that the wolrd is not my oyster. that i might live until im 50. that im human and i make mistakes but others put that pressure on you, making you feel even more worse than you should.

suddenly the weight of the world feels heavier than ever, especially when theres nothing else to look forward to anymore..

i hang my coat up in the first bar
there is no peace that I've found so far
the laughter penetrates my silence
as drunken men find flaws in science

2010-02-08T20:08:00.002+08:00

wow, its been quite some time since i posted anything here.
then again not a whole lot to remember, well not here anyway :p

so its finally 2010 and i turned 21 16 again.

.. time's going by too fast, i still need time to smell the roses

2009-09-06T17:35:00.002+08:00

how do you just put on your other face everyday? does it take alot to walk around in that mask?

i guess you do whatever it takes, and i mean whatever i takes..

.. to just feel good and sleep at night..

ha fucking ha

2009-07-25T10:30:00.001+08:00

what does it take to get through you that i dont want anything but just a little acknowlegement?

2009-07-19T22:03:00.002+08:00

argh. why bother now.

you dont have to know, it was and never will be in your place at all. it doesnt have to matter now when it was gone 19years ago. so we dont have to pretend all the pretty please and kind hellos. we can just shut the door, because it was nothing there to begin with. 19years of not knowing was enough for me, i dont need another reminder of that part of history i had my closure with. so please dont bother me, not now not ever. i refuse to acknowledge that.

2009-06-22T22:20:00.000+08:00

wooo!

2009-04-24T20:04:00.004+08:00

piRANT.

dont push what wasnt even there. dont irritate a person with constant sorrys and expect that everything is going to be ok in the next minute. if youre trying to mend things, dont stop. do it subtly. dont do it half-ass and break into a tantrum of your own. what was the point of apologizing in the first place? everything is not going to be ok just with a couple of 14 sorrys in a row. in the first place, dont even joke about something that wasnt even remotely funny! i admit im a pretty sarcastic sadist BUT i friggin know my limits. you on the hand buddy, pushing your luck.

now im pissed. a round of applause for ruining my friday.
really thank you.

i havent been a revengeful person inawhile so dont push it.

i really dont understand people half-assing anything. might as leave it be instead of waking up the beast. paloi banar tah cari pasal. nabeh.

OR

maybe im just hungry and it got a little out of hand like all my other hungry-conversations huhu.
/end rant

2009-04-21T20:59:00.002+08:00

its a little insane when everyone starts to concern themselves with something that has absoloutely nothing related to them in the slightest.

i guess its true then, nothing captures human interest like human tragedy.

2009-04-05T14:31:00.002+08:00

funny how circumstances change but people mindset will always be dead-on.

now its just a matter of following whats right from wrong, and what you already know

2009-01-18T20:24:00.002+08:00

dont patronise me.

i know my morals although it may be seemed questionable when im not in the right state of mind. i dont need much to get by.

its wrong in so many ways. but let me make my own mistakes. it wasnt scripted. it just happened. i make no amends how im trying to live my life. note how its my life and not yours.

2009-01-05T21:43:00.002+08:00

and its all worthwhile with you, it does make a difference. i feel happier, lighter and 10xxxxx at peace with everything.

.. and when its time to go, my heart just gets heavier. like suddenly all the euphoria turns into a dark cloud overshadowing everything else, and then i start missing you although i know in the morning youre mine all over again.

it goes to show, we can give our hearts unconditionally to those we never even thought twice about before.

we walked on by without a care to the world but one another. thats how crazy it becomes.

2008-12-29T04:43:00.000+08:00

im barely holding on to you

at this present moment, i am in sheer bliss. lets see how this plays out.. and how long.

2008-12-17T00:53:00.002+08:00

ive had too much time on my hands lately,
and its been nice walking around or jogging around with my thoughts completely alone without any distractions. a real breather finally. its nice literally walking these streets without a care in the world.

im still trying to make sense of everything and it gets a bit confusing when the feelings get thrown in. its like i cant live without the pain sometimes, because when it stops it feels so damn good. hmmmmm.

.. though, im starting to miss the noise along with the company

2008-12-15T21:20:00.000+08:00

linger

2008-12-07T11:18:00.002+08:00

selamat petang :)
hari ini memang indah, cuacanya elok betul

hahahaha oh dear god,im turning more malay here than i was back in brunei. nonetheless im enjoying myself. watching the people pass by, watching cars go, having such a beautiful weather since ive landed. i cant wait to break out my running shoes this afternoon. its going to be a sweet ending to a mellow day.

tempted very tempted here but then again restraining myself until the end of this long stretch.

2008-11-30T11:00:00.002+08:00

funny how a look can bring you down.

that lingering feeling when you just feel a tad bit insignificant.. ive been bumping into people i really really rather not even bother to look at. amazing how it can lose your appetite or just spoils your evening and yet again random fridays have made it so much better, well now its moved to random anyday really ;) .

exactly 6 more days and i dont have to bother with life. i can actually put a pause to something for once. 23 days of sweet sweet freedom.

no strings attached :D

2008-11-27T21:06:00.004+08:00

i am wiped out. this week has definitely been the craziest. so many movies, so little time but im always with great company. especially to those that made really ROFL haha. and to think i thought it was just a term.

can i keep you? :)

2008-11-23T22:03:00.001+08:00

blisssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

for yellow cars :D

2008-11-21T21:01:00.002+08:00

its the weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekend

weeeeeeeee a whole 2 days to try and R&R but i brought my work home with me? how also that? mmmm but at least i have david cook's new album. awesome ;)

Is the moment where I look you in the eye?
Forgive my promise that you'll never see me cry

2008-11-18T21:31:00.002+08:00

midnight shots and heavy heavy artillery. putting on a brave face to the point where no one knows its a mask anymore.

on a ligther note; abusing the internet and downloaded hinder's new album. theres some pretty decent songs but its more or less like their previous album although it leans more towards the 80s this time. funny, who woulda thunk a poprock group could go 80s.

once again its time for that umppphhhhhhhhhhh distractions :)

2008-11-13T20:10:00.002+08:00

i received this whilst working hard in the morning..

mind you, i forgot to put on office mode. so imagine the look on my collegaue faces when my message tone was blaring out, but all those incredilous looks didnt matter, only the content of that random message..

do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not, remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for..

now that was a nice wakeup call. i spent the day working with a nice permanent smile on my face (oh alright with the occasional gundus, fcuk, and other minor profanity but this was all with a smile :P). it really left a mark on me. well obviously i did ponder on that pharse almost the whole day. it left a mighty fine impression on me today.

plus last night was awesome too, i slave so much at work and was rewarded finely with greattt company throughout the night. releasing tensions, frustration and whatever ions there was couldnt be better. it was nice to be remembered by and old friend again and the wonderful part was, there was no favour asked, no double standards, no taboos, no ohimustkeepsomethingsquietastonotoffendtheother party. it was just a nice session of catching up and enjoying one another. plus, the bonus of learning how many other gundus are disrupting other peoples life.

maybe there is humanity after all :)

right now, in this moment im just glad

2008-11-10T21:44:00.002+08:00

so it goes against the grain, guess i was just a tad bit frustrated and vented out a little more than i should. than again no regrets :p.

my teeth hurts, im suffering from a severe headache, and i have work to do.

like i said it goes against the grain. sighs

2008-11-09T20:58:00.004+08:00

ive been too deep in thought lately. more so than ever. it doesnt help when it seems your not paying attention at all to any conversation or anyone for that matter

it doesnt seem right that im sidetracking everything just because of the state im in. i took countless distractions to occupy my time; to not be able to feel numb. i worked so hard to not to remember; to not feel; to not think. dear god, ive never workedso hard in my life and yet its still there. lingering as if its waiting for me in the darkness.

the distractions doesnt seem to work anymore. the late nights; the unpredictable fridays; the random dropbys; it just doesnt seem to click anymore. what the fcuk. and now im losing sleep over
everything doesnt seem to be enough. im slowly losing my mind. ive never been so ragged, highstrung and worst of all, zoneout. it finally dawned on me. im not ok, and i wont be anytime soon. ive push so many oppurtunities away, i hide from everything and im just deeply disappointed. not becauseof the situation; not because of the outcome. its because i actually felt something. i actually cared enough to feel something. which seem impossible to me but i did.

theres nothing to sedate this. its like a rite of passage, you have to get through it to be able to move on to better things. i guess i never thought itd be this hard. this feelings..

im trying my hardest; and now i just stopped to feel this entire numbness. maybe just maybe when it hits, ill come to the sudden realization; ill bury all this. and never have to look back..
.. not because i have to but just because i can.

years doesnt seem to compare with the connection.

2008-11-04T20:26:00.002+08:00

almost there; whos on the otherside now?

i remember i had a post dedicated to bastards who just did open burning. ironically it went away after my post and uh a few complaints made but now its back again. damnnnnnnnn it.

i miss the good air. right before you can enjoy the taste of it, this huge stink of horrid smoke is surrounding you. now tell me, how can we push pass that? i ALMOST ALMOST had it, thanks to the wonderful air around me, i had to stop. thank you, for that but glad to know; it was in my grasp. i still can. despite the air; it was nice to be around my old haunting grounds. its nice to know that some things dont change. if pathways could talk mmm..

im dont with the hardest part of the month; now its just clearing up before i hooray hooray in a month. oh the smell of desperation mixed with freedom is so close. i cannot wait to get back to the motherland followed by incentives.

awesome scenery; great music; my steps burning rubber on my haunting pathways.
now this is up to par with my late night fridays. can this get any better?

euphoria! ;)

now lets see how long its going to take.

the only difference was that you were using me; in a different way that i was using you

2008-11-02T19:53:00.002+08:00

youd think id be dead on my feet after the afternoon i had but im still up and about and waiting for a text.

but i literally killed myself today. omfg, who woulda thought pushing myself would lead to me having a slightly near asthma attack AND wanting to just SIT. jungletracking really shows im out of shape. how could i not be? almost 3 friggin months of not doing anything especially a big contribution from raya.

i never realised i was physically out of shape until TODAY. UPSET SIA. feeling so out of it now when i worked so hard to get back THAT stamina. worse part was i didnt get my runners high at all. boooo! i took 2 rounds of jogging and just felt dead after that. i miss that high, its the only good thing ive left right now. its so out of my grasp right now, i have to work to get it back again. aiyo. huffing and puffing and having to slow down the damn heart rate what with looking and NEVER ENDING steps just feels wrong man. and to think i use to enjoy that.

i do feel way better after that horrid workout but just doesnt seem right like it did before. i wonder..

.. but thank god for my random late night fridays, its easier to vent out with someone rather than none at all. november just started and im already dreading it. doesnt seem right to end '08 without a bang. watch me :D

2008-10-30T20:51:00.003+08:00

finally, there are signs of recovering from this nasty cold. the weather seems better nowadays.

after much procrastination its finallllllllllllllly done! confirmed for december babyyy. doesnt seem so far away. so thats all im looking forward to really. i cannot cannot cannot wait.

work is really taking a toll on me. im going out of mind literally. im really in need of a reality-check and a work free day. its impossible to go anywhere without bumping into someone that you dont want to be reminded of that awful exhausting day. haiya.

twas nice to have someone to relate to again. no pretenses, no bullshit and especially a friend there. i miss that, being real again.

kings of leon, robin thicke, the stills, trapt now how can you wrong with those? :) i think im in need of a long drive with those mention and more andd good company. now anyone up for it? (inclusive of me venting out)

.. when we freefall and never look back

2008-10-27T20:25:00.003+08:00

when we collide and stillness filled our air..

feeeling empty.

the kind of empty that you just feel like sulking. brooding all day might get me in trouble but just cant seem to shake off this feeling for some reason. maybe its the monday blues, or maybe bcos im still under the weather and i need something to dwell on.

been avoiding so many places just because i cant bring myself to walk around so much hehe. i rather be sleeping or even when im forced out, sleeping at their place huhu. turning into quite hungry sleeper. guess im finally catching up on all those sleepness nights for the past months. i dont know if it shows but im enjoying every snooze i get. i hope this last longer than expected, knowing me.. :p

i cant friggin wait for december. just to get away, to get a little perspective, to live a little bit more, and to put me first for once. :) seems appropriate to end the year with a more clarity than how i started it with.

.. still on the friggin road to recovery, when will this madness stop? i hateeee feeling vulnerable, damn meds

..was that all i was to you?

2008-10-25T08:45:00.004+08:00

was it all that easy?

things are looking a little dull here..

caught at work;

might as well.

things are looking alright. completely overwhelm with work which is seriously taking a toll on me, but thanks to that unpredictable stress reliever i think ill go over the brink.

being under the weather with a mountain of work. really unavoidable. thank god its the weekend with a free saturdayyy

and now on the road to recovery.. in more ways than one :)

to just put aside your feelings?

2008-10-19T17:47:00.006+08:00

indiscretion.
some just dont have that in them anymore.

late nights and that occasional oomph. it seems easier now, where i dont necessarily have to feel so bad anymore. theres no second thoughts to hold me back, plus with sweet words and a laughter like no other, who could honestly resist? i love this company even if its not the most sanest ones at times, makes me feel unvollendete at times, satisfying ironically! great to know i can cross boundaries, even if it means completely losing myself at times.

an honest to god killer smile found me. who woulda thunk it huhu

i thought those darken skies would be a cursed but its starting to get better, with my unpredictable incentive :D. i need a breather now plus i got back tomy personal comfort zone so its allllllllllllllllll gooood.

andddd
happy bustday to you love. i miss you. hope this day went well, in more ways than one :D

despite all this im actually landing with both feet on the ground.. with ease.

2008-10-14T06:53:00.002+08:00

september ends, tragedy october and november rains. not a good end for the year end isnt it. funny how this turns literally true, well for me anyway.

havent been of sound mind lately. just busy searching for distractions. distractions are hard lately, everyone seems so busy. somehow rather feels like i lost something, the ironic thing is i lost something i wasnt looking for. huhhhh. theres a huge gap and feels so.. empty.

soul-searching again and lets see what i come back with..

2008-10-12T09:15:00.002+08:00

im just trying to take it all in without feeling too mixed up.

i got a quiet saturday to reflect on. its been awhile since i actually had a night off to reflect on my thoughts. well that and trying to entertain my grandma while watching some malay movie. and what a movie it was keke. never thought a malay movie would keep me curious for more, than again it took me a minute longer to understand what the characters were saying than other people. reactions suppose to be on cue turned seconds longer than expected.

i need to take a breather, actually i just need that runner's high..

2008-10-11T20:15:00.002+08:00

its alright its ok
i think god can explain

awesome night.

i thoughtd id be zoned out considering the early evening but i had an extremely late dinner with excellent company. ended up talking till shop was closing. took a very long drive for 2 hours straight and just listening to songs on our ipods.

distractions are great but with additional company, it just gets better. i got a broader range of music now. plus im feeling platinum tonight again.

i never thought music at early dawn while cruising down the highway could get any better, but i was proven oh so wrong. now theres definitely new additions to my already growing collection of songs.

i believe im the same
i get carried away

2008-10-11T02:02:00.000+08:00

awesome!

details later..

2008-10-08T20:14:00.003+08:00

my 2ooth post..

how ironic that i actually have something meaningful to commemorate this 200th post. which also brings me to this.. almost 3 years and im only reaching my 2ooth. which can only mean either one, im either really lazy or i actually have a life. haha pick your poison.

sidetracked for awhile; raya has been surprisingly good. im happy i didnt have to fake it :) it was seemingly nice and i met a couple of nice chaps to go along which was pretty aweeeesome.
sidetracked done.

ive come to realisation during puasa that i shouldnt defy myself for anyone. hell, ive done some pretty unthinkable stuff but to defy myself. it just isnt worth it. ive changed yes, rules have been broken yes but my principles stay true and im kinda proud of that. i can finally breathe properly without a heavy thought.

.. i can finally be that clear cut wonderone. start anew afresh and most importantly aliveee. i dont have to look over my shoulder constantly, shudder at any impending thoughts of people around me, i can walk without a care :). its like a hugh wave of relief has spread over me, as much as it actually hurts, i think im going to be alright *watch this space for future clarification*

im not one to be hurt easily but after this long who wouldnt be right? im not even one to open up and bare my emotions but here i am, slowly and confusingly spilling my guts so i dont have to crawl into bed and ponder. the whatifs and couldbes are over. the right now is back upon and im ready to brace it.

like he once said, its not the end of the book, its just the prologue :)

give me all i never knew..
give me something to hold on to..

realisation and clarity is still in question, we'll see how that goes soon enough

2008-09-29T04:31:00.001+08:00

2:59am.

what the heeeeeeeeellllllllllllllllllllllll

2008-09-26T21:02:00.003+08:00

in this ever changing place, youre the one thing that remains

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm im liking where im at now.. and even more so when its just going to get better :)

beeen hard at work, but playing so much harder than ever; and it just feels so much better after a hard day's work. im likinggg. puasa left about less than a week, time to relive the past and forgive and forget.

sounds easy...
thank god for distractions!

i could stay like this forever ;)

2008-09-22T22:52:00.002+08:00

i feel pretty decent, not that my actions have been completely pure but just decent.

for the last few hours ive been trying to remember when was the last time i felt genuiely happy. a day where nothing when wrong, when i could no wrong, when there was actually something to look forward too. and it hit me, i havent had that day yet. i havent had a feeling like that before. to hear it from someone else's point of view sounds amazing, but im just not sure im ready for that yet though. sounds excruiatingly nice but it seems a little too out of reach, for anyone really.

if someone can tell me they had their day, come on over to me. ill shoot you bastard for lying haha. even lying cant be genuien anymore. gundus..

im taking a chance now and let the chips fall where they may, and i can actually go on grinning. (genuinely :P). dawn to dusk has been excruciating painful though, what with trying to keep your patience at a minimal level while inside your screaming profanities that would put your parents to shame.

you got me burning red

2008-09-18T21:39:00.000+08:00

:)

finally..

wondeRone all over again.;)

2008-09-10T21:08:00.004+08:00

today is my day =) and damn its great feeling that everything is going my way..

and i got a tingle..
especially after finding out your missed by that person, one that you just never really realized to begin with.

at the end of an exhausting day, puts a smile on your face by just a simple, sweet, lone text.

im really not one for the mushygushy rubbish but, amazingly the feeling is ..nice and to actually feel.. alive and wanted. priceless.

hate to admit it but i cant believe ive been missing out on stuff like this. its amazing what a text can do to you. now imagine having the 'text' next to you xtenfold.to put it simply, amazing. presently, ive got no worries at all. the weight of the world just seems so much lighter right now. and that my friends is really an achievement for me.

got me grinning like a fool now..

now imagine this feeling lying next to you and now the weight of everything simply disappears..

maybe afterall i can be that, wondeRone.. all over again. the image of that is simply extascy.

..and now to immerse myself without a second thought ;)

2008-09-09T22:58:00.002+08:00

finally changed it.

still alot more to do but pretty satisfied on how, clean everything is :).

internet is maddeningly slow, staring to get on my nerves. takes me about 3 mins to load a page. thank god patience is a virtue, or else.. starting to get the hang of my tablet (stylus-wise) its pretty cool and my handwriting looks more awesome than ever!

the month is breezing extremely quick even for me. guess raya will come quicker than i initially anticipated.

and now back to pretending everything's ok

2008-09-05T22:07:00.002+08:00

the city looks so nice from here
its a pity i cant see it clearly

i just realised, its never going to be ok. it just never will.

today was a good day. it didnt take much to make it alright. just the company. ;)

while youre standing there it disappears..
it just disappears

2008-09-01T20:36:00.002+08:00

everyones starting to get on my nerves.

excuses, stupid reasons that doesnt even make sense. god, im losing faith in humanity every friggin day it seems.

i cant seem to register this in my head. what the freaking FCUK you know.

gundu.

2008-08-31T17:47:00.002+08:00

a few more hours till we know if its puasa..

amazing how time flies, im still on january mode haha. when i think of raya, as bad as it might sound i dont really think of the forgiveness or the money or the bajus. its mostly the food my family is going to make. good lord, thats all i look forward to huhu, a certified glutton.

right now? stuffing my face with cheetos and background sounds of lego star wars sighs. kids these days. i know i was a horror when it came to games back in the day but i love my books. all kids seems to do now is try to look grown up and spend almost half their life infront of the tv. im trying to be a kid myself because i never had the luxury of having a normal kid's life. tskkk.

speaking of books, im already done with 2 i just bought a few days back. now i dont know how to kill my time.

i need perspective, i need clarity, i need... time.

2008-08-30T09:54:00.004+08:00

and i want nothing more than to sit outside heaven's door..

finally a weekend with no commitments, hoora! a little r&r is definitely incheck this weekend to make up for almost a whole bloody month's worth of constant commitments.

ive got afternoon plans but ive yet to move my ass. it just seems so right to laze around..

.. and laze around i shall. :)

.. and listen to you breathing.

2008-08-28T20:08:00.002+08:00

and the wonder of it all

freefall, what do you say :)?

that youre just..

2008-08-25T20:13:00.002+08:00

and when you think its over..
it creeps over you like a shadow..

an hour ago i just thought it might be an awesome day. an hour ago i was fine; more than fine i was sufficient content with everything. an hour ago i received that text. an hour ago; i pull away. an hour ago i broke someone without even analyzing everything else. and i didnt even know i could.

and it all happened in less than 5 minutes. thats all it takes. to break someone. 5 fucking minutes.

my neck is aching, im coughing up like a motherf, im agitated as hell and to top it all off i have 2 annoying mosquitos bite marks. what a lovely monday.

i dare do all that may become a man; who dares do more is none

2008-08-22T22:17:00.002+08:00

why does every moment have to be so hard

it seems like i just took a second to blink and the week is coming to an end.

another tgif to look forward to. not that i did anything great for the past 4 hours but my tummy is well fed and my fingers hurt from scales, bars and practicing sighs. ive been on a downloading frenzy lately as well, abusing the connection ive been getting. i managed to get trapt's new album which has been on repeat for god knows how long.

im at a point where nothing seems to register. i havent been paying much attention to anything, anyone lately. everything seems so mechanical. nothing seems to feel good anymore, doesnt have that oomph like it used to. is something missing or am i missing something?

you know the feeling you get? when you listen to a song and you just cant stop. i havent had that for anything in eons. everything just seems so.. black.

and when you cant even look at someone right in the eye because of the guilt. goddamn.

i may not make it through the night..

2008-08-17T20:16:00.004+08:00

all the smiles you had to fake
and all the shit you had to take
just to lead us here again..

in the past 48 hours ive had less than 9 hours of sleep.

dont push me now. im tired, im cranky, im slipping. i thought i was but i actually am slipping, coyote ugly! now the only repercussion is to actually act like nothing. like it didnt bothered me, it all laid bare and for what? over a little upset? now dealing with it shouldnt be such a big deal now shouldnt it? sighs. who wouldve thunk it couldnt get any more complicated.

erasing in process..

now on to better things that actually make sense. ive got goooooooooooood upcoming plans that i hope will actually come into light and hopefully it goes well.. HEHE :) lets just say its such good news that makes the erasing a wee bit easier. last night was, different hehe, but it was just pretty entertaining to say the least.

oh and im burned :\

..i never have the things to say
to make it all just go away
to make it all just disappear

2008-08-12T19:54:00.002+08:00

cant wait to burst out TGIF. im in need of a quiet, lazy lazy lazy friday.

my mind's been pretty heavy lately but then again thank god for those little distractions and interruptions by some. its just easier, not dealing with those thoughts. i like the beaches, i like the crowd.

and im content, for now. i do wonder how long this is gona last. hopefully just a tiny bit longer than expected. that should be enough distractions for awhile.

the year passing by mighty fast, and somewhere along the year to end just yet. im not ready. its tooooooooooooo much to take in. i cant even sit and put my memories in place. its going way to fast for comfort. :( im still in search of that higher high, i thought i got that but it slipped right through. any takers?

my minds all over right now. wooooooosh, i still need that run..

2008-08-05T21:38:00.002+08:00

AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

~!@#$%^&*()_+

2008-08-04T21:43:00.002+08:00

baby shine me smile
smile all my worries away..

and they say i dont have any feelings hehe. i need a good night away from home. i need a well deserved break. i really need to evaluate and be me again. i feel so, out of character, so mechanical. i need to reach my runner's high again, its been almost 2 weeks i havent gotten that beautiful epiphany and i miss that.

impure thoughts, none of that at the moment. just going through everyday without thinking. its so mechanical and routine. it just depresses me abit though. i want to be that wondeRone again. sighs. a person with cause&effect to everything.

now its got me wondering..
could i still?

2008-08-01T20:13:00.003+08:00

so i havent been little miss sunshine lately. no joyous rays of sun has been highlighting my pathway for sometime but yet im doing fine with just copious amounts of sarcasm. for the most part ive been plauged with some virus thats making me too vulnerable that i feel a little human which i dont likeee.

i ate medicine crap which is out of my nature but then again, the things you do for the people you care about and the line of work your in. you just gotta be well enough (to answer them back hehe).

its been 3 months already, amazing how time passes by esp. when your surrounded by awesome (although some questionable) people :). sometimes being there makes me feel like im in highschool all over again. the endless gossips, rumours, the whoswho, the idontlikeyoubutilllayanyouforthesakeofothers and whatnot. amazes me. 20years on and youd think everyone has grown up huhu.

i guess its bedrest for me now. medicine is finally kicking in.

im starting to breakout and you know what? it feels good, not to obscured by you anymore ;)

2008-07-24T00:55:00.003+08:00

welcome to the real world where husbands cheat, wives are manipulative and children are mirrors of their parents wherethe they like to be or not.

the past 3 months have not been my friend at all. its going to be another busy weekend for me. i was actually looking forward to a quiet weekend where i have at least 2 days to myself but i guess that wont be happening anytime soon.

youll be glad to know im slowly resurfacing but then again somewhere deep inside i know ill succumb to being anti-social all over again,which i think aint so bad. i get time to mull things over and not nod along just to agree with someone else's pointless view on things which i dont agree at all to begin with. ive been pretty pessimistic lately due to that fact that things havent been going my way haiyo.

im in need of a good long sweaty run. woooooooooosh.

2008-07-17T18:12:00.002+08:00

im not one to hold on to a grudge. i can say im pretty much laid-back or too laid-back like some would say.

but i hate it when you basically screw over friends. ok, not exactly screw over but just cancel plans on the very last minute just for a significant other. hellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllo, i-am-a-person-with-feelings-as-well. bad enough its been planned months ago, i can let that slide abit but to just let it go at the last minute upsets me more than you can imagine. there should be some moral understanding to where you would place friends and significant others or whatever the hell you call one another. to be dropped just like that fucking hell just upset me.

itsnot what really, its more between the lines of CONSIDERATION and HUMANITY. im really biting my tongue to keep myself from labelling you from alot of things attacking my mind. just remember i was there for you before. more than you know and to get this in return just upsets me. disappointment is better word than upset.

humanity really doesnt exist anymore

2008-07-08T23:04:00.002+08:00

some people haiyo. they are just full of themselves arent they.

ive been a happy bunny because i dont have any plans this weekend. last week was crucially tiring. so imagine how my sunday went, but there were definitely some incentives though that kept me going through the day.

imagine my happiness when i actually soak myself in a tub for a good 45 mins without ANY disturbance, pure bliss i tell you. all my tension and aching actually drifted away. im actually happy right now. mmm, i think im going to turn in before i ramble on something else haha.

cant wait for august!

andddd

9 more days :)!!

2008-06-28T11:34:00.002+08:00

mon amie, mon coeur et mon amour.

right after my last post, the internet fuckd me over. this time for 9 days. oh dear lord imagine what that did to me.

.. well nothing suicidal. just deprived of the internet more than usually, but i managed well suprisingly. kept myself busy and man did that make my credit go down. being without internet amazes me though the things you can accomplish when the internet isnt around. ive done all my pending crap ive been meaning to do in that span of 9 days. although it makes you mentally crippled in some ways, at least physical ive got my ass off and do productive crap.

and now, its time to enjoy my weekend. ;)

2008-06-18T20:47:00.002+08:00

i cant wait to burst out TGIF hehe.

imagine being screw over by a friend but family? somehow its a pretty common thing, if youre doing what i do. *mental note not to get married anytime soon huhu. i know i definitely couldnt do it. doesnt help being too nice now does it?

its so nice to have my internet abit more stable than expected, but my ass is permanently stuck to this chair. cause & effect. i just hope it doesnt bite me in the ass tomorrow and i wont have connection all over again.

with almost everyone i have a conversation with today, theyre spilling out a little too much information for me to handle, not as in secretive way. just a little too personal for my liking. to the point where i just nod, smile along and refraining myself while bursting whats really on my mind. not that im a bad listener, i just dont need that info you know haha, i have my own thoughts to mull over.

today was my lovely bday, and i felt bad i couldnt do much for her.

i couldnt ask for more, im just feeling abit overwhelmed is all.

friday here i come :)

2008-06-17T20:42:00.002+08:00

the broken lights on the freeway

left me here alone..

work has sucked the life out of me. im thoroughly mentally exhausted, i came home and straight away just laid in bed and just stare in the ceiling. thats how wiped out i was today. amazes me though, ive never been this tired in my life.

i didnt think id have my connection tonight, hope it stays this way. so i dont have to exert more of my energy calling them. sighs. i dont want to get into them. just happy that i have the connection, even if its for a few hours, as long its here when im home.

time to take the edge off and indulge in a little recreational time :) woooo

those webcam shots az took hehe

you know those silences we encounter;

itd actually gave me clarity, somehow

2008-06-16T21:58:00.003+08:00

im not as crazy as you might think i am, sure i go might go overboard sometimes but i do know my limits.

i have my own share of flaws, but i do learn from my mistakes.

i might not have a great sense of direction in life, but i breeze through alright even when it gets pretty dark at times.

i might look like nothing bothers me, but theres just always something brewing in my mind.

i tend to let my mind wander too much, but i dont stray from my reality

try as i might, i cant stop with you..

despite all these, tell me now could i be?

... that wonderone?

2008-06-09T20:15:00.004+08:00

those mornings you wish you could just stay in bed because of the full completed weekend you had.

you take a glimpse hoping that maybe the bright sunlight would freshen you but you see a grey sky and see a cool breeze.

i want my late mornings, my body alarm is fixed for 630am. how unnatural is that? harumpph

you finally figured, life had to be a bitch didnt it.

just a little incentive, not happiness could be ok, couldnt it?

2008-06-01T10:19:00.002+08:00

so here i am, yet at another impasse.

thank god for distractions :).

2008-05-27T21:05:00.001+08:00

look into my eyes
cant you see theyre open wide
would i lie to you baby
would i lie to you baby

HEHE

*dancing away

2008-05-26T20:22:00.002+08:00

sudden interest in where i am? haha.

i just needed someplace to put down my overflooded thoughts. so it might not make sense at all, but bare with me please.

i havent been the best person in the last 8 months. i went to be somebody id never thought ill be in a thousand years but still i stayed in my true form. i didnt stray and pretended to be somebody i wasnt. i think things more thoroughly and more of what i wanted than what others wanted,not to say im completely selfish but if its what i would want badly or think i deserve, selfish it is.

i really dont have the need to depend on anyone anymore like i used to. i could spend time endless time alone like i do now and dont have urge to call or text someone just so ill have company. i could walk around without a care in the world with the clothes on my back and whatevers thoughts im plotting haha.

ive changed alot and THAT just occured to me. i guess it took me 2 years to realise ive changed so much after walking that familiar hallway where i created chaos for a few good years. i guess you never really know huh.

2008-05-18T22:45:00.002+08:00

who knew someone was watching over me all this time

or even thinking about me. suprise suprise. im not unforgettable after all. :) the little things the some people could say to you just brigthens your day. especially the ones that you never expected. suprising how humanity can still suprise you even though its the one thats been letting you down.

2008-05-14T19:54:00.002+08:00

how do you ever let go? do we have to on with our lives in a mask masquearading like nothing happened? why do we always have to give up the things that we're so comfortable with, the thing that makes us be who we're suppose to be or brings out the worst in us and yet we enjoy it either way. what are we suppose to do? what am i suppose to do?

we tend to refrain from saying things that will always end up with a backlash, or a retribution. i want to go on, like i was before. free of every expectation, every constraint.

but really, i just wish..

ive just been preoccupied with thoughts in my mind lately. pardon the above, just needed to get some things off my mind, literally. ive been buried with so much work lately that i just feel so dead. im getting the hang of things but its just a little overwhelming.i guess i really miss my old enviroment, where everything was limitless hehe.

ive got so much stuff i put on hold because of work.i just dont feel like i have enough time for anything which really depresses me. sometimes i cant believe i took things for granted when i had nothing to do except bum around and jog. i just have to manage my time a little better. speaking of jogging, my ankle finally completely healed. i havent done anything to strain myself in 3 weeks and its really driving me up the wall, hence why my thoughts are sliding in another direction. must take out my ankle for a test drive huhu.

i cant wait until may's over. it just doesnt seem like the month for me this year.

the only thing thats keeping me sane. :)

2008-05-11T09:42:00.002+08:00

i gotta say i enjoyed my weekend. i didnt go out the whole weekend, i didnt see anybody, i didnt even hog my laptop. all i did was stayed in and watch all 5 batman movies :):). now all i gotta do is try and occupy the rest of my godsday ;).

2008-05-09T20:52:00.002+08:00

i never knew perfection til i heard you speak
and now it kills me, just to hear you say the simple things

weekend is finally here. i cant friggin wait to just bum around. wooooooooooooooooooooooooots. but then again theres just something thats been on my mind, and i just cant seem to let go for some reason.

2008-05-05T21:44:00.001+08:00

links updated! suddenly everyones resurfacing again :p.

will update soon; ive been too exhausted for anything really.

2008-05-01T20:35:00.001+08:00

sometimes relenting to the world or rather blogging on how you feel can be a real curse. huhu im back to feeling pretty much empty.

sometimes it feels like the weight of the world just drops on me and i just cant seem to shake the feeling that im much better off completely alone, but ive been trying not to be too anti-social. just incase my thoughts my slide in another way off direction. btw its not as bad as it seems, not to the point where i want to "die", just completely alone is all.

lucky i got some insane people that ive been hanging out with, which distracts me for awhile but then when i get back home, well thats another different story altogether. and it get worse at night, ill be lucky to get a good few hours of sleep. i can only sleep for 2 or 3 measley hours and the rest of the time im awake, and staring out wondering how the hell it got this bad. i cant even tire myself out anymore what with this damn sprained ankle, thank god its getting better or ill simply go insane, well more than usual really.

today was my first and it was just pretty, slow day. new enviroment, new people and everything else new. its like starting anew, just when i was just so comfortable. i just hope it gets better fast sighs. i miss laughing in my own sense.

the only thing im actually happy is that episodes are all out! woots! thats the only thing thats keeping me in line, and throw in my saturday nights at that :)

one look in my eyes and youll realizeyou got my heart in your hands

2008-04-22T20:10:00.002+08:00

well you cant dictate the way,
the way im gonna feel no matter what..

woohoo. things are really going my way but when things go your way, you know you have to leave some things behind.. and the scary part is, i have to brace it myself. it just feels so alone in a big place. howells.

..no matter what im forced to see
ill be the one free of jealousy

ive been spending my weekends a little too much football obssessed and hunting for ~~comfy~~ decent places to go with a few exceptions that i always end up at hehe. woooo!

2008-04-13T19:33:00.003+08:00

my voice is so hoarse i can barely have a decent conversation without someone asking me to repeat what they couldnt hear clearly. im starting to forget what i sound like. its been this way since last thursday, dear god help me.

everythings starting to look peachy keen for me now and im just estatic about it. i know im going to regret typing that down. my next post will probably be filled with angst but im planning to savour this moment. so bare with me please.

its always hard to leave something behind and start anew, but at the way things are developing right now, i honestly couldnt give a fcuk. im just grinning like a fool more than i used to. im starting to appreciate the little things in life, taking a long stroll and smelling the roses, what have you. im just happy :). i cant remember being this happy in quite sometime and i hope itll stay this way. it took me quite a while to be this way. i went through such a phase in my life that i hope will never happen again. i took a bad turn and i hope i dont relapse. it was hard getting back up but, i guess i just have to push past the pain and confusion and to remember its there just to remind us theres always something better to look forward to.

i know im not making much sense but this is how im feeling (all comfortably fed as well hehe) at this moment and i just wanted to remember that i ever felt this hhhaaapppyyy. and i just got a message :D

p.s : im starting to looking more forward to my saturday and thursday nites :) woot woot.

2008-04-07T19:38:00.002+08:00

i dont know what to do and im always in the dark
we're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
i really need you tonight..

so many things to say, i just cant find the right time or even find the right words.

i hope you know though, how i..

2008-04-06T18:39:00.003+08:00

the broken clock is a comfort;
it helps me sleep to tonight

... because today i honestly feel like roadkill.

sucks to be sick with my body feeling warm and cold at the same time and my thoart feels so swollen i can barely utter a word. and the worst part is i just woke up from a nightmare. i havent had that in awhile.

been busy on this side of life hence no updates, im hardly even ever online anymore. big suprise. trying to distract myself from certain things. which right now seems just impossible to do. sighs.

im a little wee-bit dead at the moment. so ending this on a better note than a bitter one. woot.

webcamming hehe ;p.

2008-03-20T13:11:00.002+08:00

give me heart, just give me hope
give me love, just give me rope
give me all i never knew
give me something to hold on to

ive been feeling a rush of emotions lately and frequently and its scaring me. i hate feeling vulnerable. sigh

2008-03-05T20:17:00.004+08:00

:)

i just downladed lifehouse '07 album and im enjoying it a little too much. overplayed and definitely something that will be in my playlist until i get sick of them. lifehouse the only recent band ive downloaded, the rest are micheal jackson, bryan adams. damn those influences :p. and theres also the moon walk to go along hehe. like i said, damn those influences.

everyone's seem to be celebrating love, whats up with that? just seem to be a lethal dose injection of love. e v e r y f r i g g i n w h e r e . friendster, facebook, msn and what not. omg. i mean i did had my share of pda back when i actually had a heart, but you know when it's a little too much :P

and the meeting up of people seems to be popping up everywhere. i just met an old school mate from wayyy back in my pri years today. this week has been seemingly interesting, with old people popping up everywhere. just hope itll stay that way :)

asshole update; after the 'subtle' messages i got, now he's trying to act as if everythings ok. wtf kind of psycho is that? banar tah ihhhhhhh.

we're crashing into the unknown
we're lost in this, but it feels like home

2008-03-04T20:56:00.004+08:00

when youre given lemons, you make lemonade.
when youre given hope, you make the best of it.
but what if youre given a choice, what the hell are we suppose to decide on?

mmmm, ive been sleeping exceptionally well. which is great but its been making me a tad bit lazier than i had hoped for. so much for getting all energized up. i havent even been feeling well lately as well, and the fact that i stop trying to find productive things to occupy myself makes me feel even worse and old, need to change that habit.
and fast.

i was true as the sky is blue
but i couldnt soon say the same for you

i admit im one of those person who gets a little hard to read at times, and even so on msn but i do have the occasional quotes in my head that i just put on msn but really, can you be any more subtle? i guess some guys really just think with their dicks. guys like that just annoy me.

i made it exceptionally clear what i wanted or what i didnt need right now. you made yourself into such a victim. dont be putting the blame on me asshole.

men, dont know whats stuck up their ass.

2008-03-02T20:44:00.005+08:00

the only one in my heart, my no.1

happy 6th birthday. you know i love you ;)

i could be content with him. no need the mess or the stress of having a man in my life. hes the one whos running home to me after a long day, the one whos constantly giving and showing me affection out of the blue, the one whos pretty much concern about me and its just enough.

dont grow up too fast my love; you'll always be my no.1

ive been keeping myself preoccupied with almost anything i can find which is suprisingly easy. i havent been hogging the computer so much, which is a big big feat for me. i dont feel so dependant on it anymore mmm. it actually feels refreshing. havent even been downloading anything as well except for those occasional shows, other than that its always something productive.

.. yet i still feel pretty much empty. after im done with whatever it is that i find, i sit in one corner and all those thoughts i try to evade comes rushing back. is it impossible to just let it slide? i hate it when i get a bit too involve when i know i shouldnt, screw thinking man.

random and useless paragraph, doubt anybody understands that. other than that im pretty much alright. today's also another day to remember. met 2 old friends and catch up with countless old old friends today. mmm, finally my god's day isnt wasted like those past weeks.

time to make one last appeal, for the life i lead

2008-02-21T21:32:00.004+08:00

erdi;
my halo's not shining too brightly.. i think i need to change to duracell.
R;
kurang asam

haha, oh the things you say. internet speed is just torturing me right now. believe it or not its taking me more than half an hour for one song. thank god i learnT patience :p.

what did i do for my in lieu? you would think itd be something productive or even interesting. try watching atonement and hogging the couch the whole day. practically slept the whole day, also due to the fact im feeling under the weather. sighs. practically wasted the whole day.

this dated back in 2006. the things i do out of boredom.

i realized i havent touched any of my old stationery and journals for quite awhile. i think i might start doodling like i used to again, with the help of course of my old trusty pencil, now all i need is a little inspiration. any takers? huhu.

today i rise above again. i let the pain go and just walk away to better things. its better than just holding it in like i used to. i called a truce, it wasnt easy. it took me a awhile for the realization to set in but i did it. im actually happy that i can let things go. (EH BUT NOT ALL AH) i think i finally am growing a little. i still cant believe it though, huhu i guess maturity is really kicking in.

i think somebody better shoot me now before i do anything more decent again.

2008-02-18T20:27:00.002+08:00

devics - if we cannot see
the waking hours - revenge

can't seem to get those 2 anywhere. friggin fudge. just have to keep looking i guess. ive been donwloading like a mad woman since my connection tonight is pretty decent than the last few weeks. stray's dont sleep, susie suh, stephen fretwell, tom freund. ohhh soothing to my ears.

every song has to end but its that any reason not to enjoy the music?

these days it gets to point where i just dont want to get up from bed, the weather has been excruciatingly dull and yet im up by 6 dragging myself out of bed. oh how i miss those days where i would just sleep without a care in the world except for my running highs.

ive come to dislike mondays more than i did in school. oh god. the weekend always always pass by too fast for my liking. starting to get on my nerves. slaves to the money, but what can you do.
bed's a calling.

oh and ive come to realise, im not entirely emotionally challenged :p.

2008-02-17T18:35:00.003+08:00

out of the night that covers me
black as the pit from pole to pole
i thank whatever gods may be
for my unconquerable soul

in the fell clutch of circumstance
i have not winced nor cried aloud
under the bludgeonings of chance
my head is bloody but unbowed

beyond this place of wrath and tears
looms but the horror of shade
and yet the menace of the years
finds and shall find me, unafraid

it matters not how strait the gate
how charged with punishments the scroll
i am the master of my fate;
i am the captain of my soul

invictus

thats how i spent my weekend, thinking about this.

2008-02-14T21:07:00.002+08:00

good lord, my english and pronounciation has definitely been tampered with. mygod. although, i cant say that my malay has improved, only bahasa brunei yang banyak ku paham ah. still rusty but getting there :P

connection these days have been pretty shitty. sighs, i guess some things just doesnt improve with time.

apa lah rain nie, sasakku, kan ke bukit pun inda. trist (?) ku krg.

see i told you, perfect brunei.

2008-02-11T21:46:00.000+08:00

...

you?

2008-02-09T09:54:00.000+08:00

weather doesnt look so good for my benefit, but still i made my way to Tasek Lama for the very first time huhu. i honestly prefer MY bukit though. the only thing i like about tasek was the clean enviroment and the rock climbing. looks fairly intriguing.

ive got too much pent up energy and i just cant seem to find anything to take it out on. the only thing that makes me a little wee bit sane is my bukit and running.

sometimes your friends are the friggin devils in your life.

Izism says:
god u need to get laid
R says:
HAHAHAHA

save your heart and end your life OR ignore the beat to save your life?

2008-02-07T11:49:00.000+08:00

like i realised 2 nights ago, 2008 has even start to begun, its already beginning to look like a shitty year for me.

people screw you over, people change. seriously fuckd. dont think i could take another disappointment or ill implode. i really need that incentive, any takers?

thanks for venting with me. im glad you stayed the same. you know i love you, and when youre back we really need to get a better picture than this haha. we need more izzats in this world.

ye olde yonder days.

bukit anyone?
:D

2008-02-04T20:09:00.000+08:00

i need a little incentive that's going to assure me im going to be alright.

.. im slightly losing my mind.

help?

2008-02-03T11:00:00.000+08:00

theres so many things that are better left unsaid.

its alright, you know i just rather you not insult my intelligence and pretend everythings ok, but youre the only one who can pretend. when you see me smiling at you, you dont know whats rolling in the back of my mind, when im laughing, its you im laughing at.

this is why i rather be alone most of the time, another reason why im so anti-social. its either they screw you over or just fucking leave. wtf. no sincerity kah anymore? CHICKEN!

woooooooooot.
you dont know how hard it is to 'sabar' especially for someone like me.

2008-01-29T21:05:00.000+08:00

i kinda celebrated my birthday for about 4 days, ~~almost~~ the whole weekend, i thought itd end but its starting to move on to the 5 day haha.

damn, everyones been so great.
lets just make it the whole weekend shall we ;)

its the wrong time
hes pulling me through
its a small crime, and ive got no excuse.

2008-01-27T23:17:00.000+08:00

sometimes i go on through life
thinking that love is something
thats not meant for me.

:)

i never thought ill be smiling today, but i guess those little suprises and most of all effort certain people put out there was worth it. thanksss lovelies :).

i woke up today, and look in the mirror for a good 5 minutes and realised holyshit im actually 9*. thoroughly i went searching a sign for a wrinkle and looking through my own hair looking for a single strand of white but thankfully no signs of either. cant say much about the sanity though haha.

i wont go into so much detail about today because alot of things are better left unsaid and etched upon MY memory for my own amusement hehe.

take me to the pastures and shoot away. :)

once again thank you to those. no names mention, you know who you are.

please forgive me
my weakness caused you pain
and this song's my sorry

2008-01-26T20:06:00.000+08:00

this is what i get for logging on after a long nap;

iheardabt yourjokerguy..siheath..isorry..
so anyway, did u cry when heath died?

haha. fuckers.

and this from another friend;

Your positive traits:
You've got a ton of friends, so you have no problem meeting new people.
You're great at thinking up new things and activities to do with your sweetie.
You tend to let the little things slide in relationships... and focus on the bigger picture.

Your negative traits:
In relationships, it tends to be your way or the highway.
You can never open up completely to someone
- you have to keep parts of yourself secret.
You're cold and reserved, which leaves your partner feeling unloved.

Your ideal partner:
Flexible, because you're not going to be the one to compromise!
Is smart and quirky with lots of weird interests... including you.
A true individualist who doesn't care what anyone thinks

Your dating style:
Stimulating. You prefer dates that explore a shared interest
- like a lecture, muesum tour, or concert.

Your seduction style:
Wacky. Your wild ideas have your lover wondering what's next.
Insatiable - it takes a lot to satisfy your desires.
Varied. You're eager to try things as soon as you learn about them.

Tips for the future:
Bring a little responsibility to your relationship -
like showing up for dates!
Compromise a little. It wouldnt kill you to do things your lover's way for once.
Be aware of your partner's jealousy.
Even though you aren't jealous, realize your partner is sometimes.

apparently its some aquarious profile.
hahahahahahhahaha.
grins*

2008-01-26T15:06:00.000+08:00

feeling under the weather today. dear lord i hope it doesnt get worse. wasted my day lying down on the couch most of the morning and midday. there goes plans for tonight. hopefully a good incentive will come up tonight.

utorrent finally works. time to catch up with my missed episodes, and in good time too.

happy 18 rita. :)